Julie Bowen says despite identifying as ‘straight,’ she was once in love with a woman

Julie Bowen said this week that although she identifies as “straight,” she was once in love with a woman. 

“I’m straight. I’ve always been straight,” the “Modern Family” actress said on her “Quitters” podcast on Monday. “I was in love with a woman for a while, but she didn’t love me back.”

She said while the woman in question also liked women “she didn’t like me in that way. It never really took off, so I never really had to challenge my concept of my sexuality.”

Bowen was discussing sexual preference labels with “Bachelor” alum Becca Tilley, who is in a relationship with singer Hayley Kiyoko. 

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Julie Bowen attends the 67th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards at Microsoft Theater on Sept. 20, 2015, in Los Angeles.

Julie Bowen attends the 67th Annual Primetime Emmy Awards at Microsoft Theater on Sept. 20, 2015, in Los Angeles.
(Jason Merritt/Getty Images)

Tilley said there was a lot of “stress” in coming out, and she hoped someday that wouldn’t be required because “life is already really hard. Falling in love should just be a natural and beautiful thing that people don’t have to explain to anybody.” The couple have been together for four years.

Bowen said she finds it strange that people often lead with asking others about their preference. She agreed in hoping that people don’t always have to come out, adding, “I hope that people don’t have to lead with what you do with your body should not be the first thing that we know about people or care about. That’s your business.” 

The cast of "Modern Family" 

The cast of "Modern Family" 

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Tilley added that she gets questions from people on social media who say they don’t understand how she ended up with a woman after going on the “Bachelor” twice to potentially get engaged to a man. 

Becca Tilley, left, and Hayley Kiyoko attend "Elle Hollywood Rising" presented by Polo Ralph Lauren and Hulu on May 18, 2022, in Los Angeles.

Becca Tilley, left, and Hayley Kiyoko attend "Elle Hollywood Rising" presented by Polo Ralph Lauren and Hulu on May 18, 2022, in Los Angeles.
(Charley Gallay/Getty Images for Elle)

“I don’t think you can really explain falling in love with someone.… Sometimes I think people try to put love, emotions and feelings into a box, and it’s not something that should be boxed up.” 

Bowen divorced real estate investor Scott Phillips, to whom she was married for 13 years, in 2018. The former couple share three children together: Oliver, 15, and John and Gustav, both 13.

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Bowen has been private about dating following her divorce, joking about coming out of dating “retirement” for her crush Harry Styles. 

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